It all began about a month ago, when Jackson had a fever that lasted a full week - got as high as 103 but lingered consistently at 100 daily...then it passed for a few days...
Then, it came back. That was over 2 weeks agao.
He is moody, clingy, tired, punky, lethargic, wants to be held, wants you to put him down, throws his bottle then cries for his bottle. He's a mess.
Sunday night was rough. He was up most of the night crying hysterically. Even when he and I were downstairs in the rocker, he screamed. He would writh with pain. He would slither out of my arms (while crying), lay on the ground and scream and then crawl back over to my legs...then do it all over again...from 3am to 6am.
I had just had it. WHAT WAS WRONG!?
We took him to our Pediatrician and he couldn't find anything - ears clear, lungs clear, influenza test negative. "Give it a few more days"
I already waited 2 weeks to finally bring him!
I was positive it was his gut. I was sure that something he ate (a mozzeralla stick, the probiotic I put in his milk that morning) had caused his intense pain.
So I called our GI Specialist.
The one we said Good-bye to after the Celiac Disease Test came back negative.
He was concerned...he ordered an ultrasound. They could fit Jackson in the next morning at Riley Children's Hospital North at 9am!
So, this morning, Jackson was to fast for 4 hours prior to the ultrasound. He had a bottle at midnight last night and then when he woke up this morning at 7am, he could not eat. (that was a fun)
We have a Tech do the scan. I laid on the bed (just like when I was pregnant) and then Jackson laid on me. He was so patient. He squirmed a little when the jelly was cold, but he waited and watched Disney Channel and held my hands. CARRIED
She found something and called for the Head Pediatric Radiologist to come assess the screen.
The Dr is a mother of 4 who only works Thursday mornings (her kids are 7 and under also). She listened to my concerns with his temp, with his pain, with his diet, that I think he may have ulcers, tumors or worse....and she understood. She understood that I am not a mom that takes my kids for every runny nose and that by your 4th you know when something just isn't right and you need answers. CARRIED
She agreed with the Tech that there was something there, on the kidney, a "mass". She asked if a CT Scan would be something I would consider having done. I said "yes, right now, please."
In a short time we were in another part of Riley where Jackson was to begin his "drink" that would take an hour to filter through his system. Additionally, because it was his kidney, they were going to need to put Iodine into him through an IV. So a numbing lotion was put on both interiors of his arms and that was to take 30 minutes to set in.
In the quiet, darkened room, I rocked our baby boy to sleep. I held him and prayed and felt Peace.
I was not afraid of the "mass", I was not anxious or worried. I just rocked him and hummed.
CARRIED
When the time was up for the numbing to kick in, 2 nurses entered and I gently placed Jackson on the crib bed. My hopes of him sleeping through the IV needle quickly ended when he awoke. Oh well, atleast he can't feel his arm, I thought.
Unfortunately, because he had not eaten since midnight the night before and now all he had drank was the "drink" mixed with his almond milk....his veins were impossible to work with.
He was so brave. He was SO GOOD. They would poke and prod and tap and turnicut and hold his arm tight and tape and poke again...and he grimmaced...he whined a bit...he looked at me with a face of sadness...but he was calm. CARRIED
They tried both arms twice, but nothing. So, we took a break and they called the NICU for a special light that shines through the skin to identify very clearly where the best veins were...here are some picks as he played...
The PICU nurse also tried on both arms again, while using the special light, and still nothing....so the moved to the foot. Amidst this entire hour of IV needles (it was after 1pm by now), I remained strong. I held him, kissed him, distracted him. I never felt dismay. I felt sorry for Jackson, but I never felt angry at the nurses, no frustration or desperation....just patience...just waiting for it to work. CARRIED
Once they finally got the IV to take, it was swift. The CT nurses were ready and waiting. I put on my big green dinosaur style radiation cover and laid Jackson on the table of the machine. He laid perfectly still, looking up at me, trusting, waiting, content. He went through a big humming metal circle and back while I sang to him and the Tech put fluids in him through the IV in his foot. It was easy. CARRIED
The Dr (that mom of 4) came in while Jackson was being scanned...(she stayed late to be there until we were finished). She walked into the room afterwards with a smile on her face. She was happy to say that all was clear. Apendix looked good, intestines fine, stomach great, and kidneys were great...the mass was just a "hump" that is part of the kidney and as she told me in the ultrasound room - "I think his kidney is fine, but if it were my child, I would still want to get this scan just to be sure." No tumors, no ulcers, no infection. CARRIED
I had posted on Facebook that we were headed to Riley that morning
Heading to Riley Hospital North in the morning with JackJack. Our GI Specialist ordered an Abdominal Ultrasound.
Poor Baby, Concerned Mama
...immediately friends responded with "Praying!"
I updated to the CT Scan part of the morning
Now waiting for an Abdominal CT Scan...found something in ultrasound — at Riley Children's Hospital North.
...more texts and FB comments to my status of "Praying for peace and calm"...
This was my text and photo as we left the hospital after the healthy CT Scan
Our brave boy finally leaving hospital...CT Scan showed HE IS OK! Praise God! Had to put IV in foot because both arms didn't take needle (6 tries!) Long morning, relieved mama — at Riley Children's Hospital North.
...comments of Praise and Thankfulness on FB...
I finished the night with this post tonight
Jackson and I were CARRIED today - in moments when I should have had intense fear, anxiety, and desperation, and Jackson should have been screaming, writhing and fussy, we both remained FULL of PEACE. HELD. COMFORTED. All I can say is THANK YOU to those who have lifted our family today - PRAYERS were heard and answered! Your Faith and Our Fathers Provision has blessed us both beyond comprehension.
There is NO WAY what Jackson (and I) went through today should have been that, well..., easy. No fear, no anxiety, Jackson was amazing. Nurses and Doctors commented and complimented him all day for what an easy little boy he was amidst all he was enduring. I am so proud of him. I am so thankful. I am so overwhelmed with the reality of what this day really meant. GOD CARRIED US! What a gift!
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