Happiness Project: Parenting

Well, it's been a while since I have posted any "tips" or guidance that I have read about parenting (which is my Happiness Project focus for March). Quite honestly, until now, I haven't had much super mind-blowing insight to speak of. I finally finished Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson and I must admit, it was pretty lame. Super preachy and not much "hands on" kind of info...

I do however, have some good stuff now that I have moved on to book 2 on my list of who-knows-how-many for Parenting that I wanted to read this month.

HOW TO TALK SO KIDS WILL LISTEN and LISTEN SO KIDS WILL TALK by Faber and Mazlish

It talks of "Skills" that are valuable for each of us as parents to choose to use vs. using what we know best, which is sometimes not so helpful (maybe it's just me!).

ENGAGING COOPERATION:
I. DESCRIBE - Instead of saying "YOU spilled the milk!", choose to describe the situation "The milk has spilled. We need a towel."

II. GIVE INFORMATION - Instead of saying "You'll rip your uniform", choose to say "Jeans are for playing outside, your uniform is for school."

III. THE 1 WORD STATEMENT - Instead of saying "Clean your room...the room's a mess...when are you going to clean your room?" Choose to say "Room."

IV. DESCRIBE WHAT YOU FEEL - Intead of saying "I'm angry that you hit your sister." Choose to say "I expect you to be kind to your siblings."

V. WRITE A NOTE - Instead of yelling at your kids to get out of the kitchen while you are making dinner, choose to write "Kitchen Closed Until Dinner" at the entrance to the kitchen

• We want to put an end to the talk that wounds the spirit, and search out the language that nourishes self-esteem.
• We want to create an emotional climate that encourages our kids to cooperate because they care about themselves and because they care about us.
• We want to demonstrate the kind of respectful communication that we hope our kids will use with us - now, during their teenage years, and later as adults.

I still have a few chapters to go, and although I didn't get to ALL the parenting books I planned to read for March, I do plan to continue them on through April as well. 

This is just such a valuable topic to research, a wonderful way to spend the little time I have to read, and an important issue to focus on - for the sake of my kids and thier future....It is very clear to me now, that the words I choose to say, the tone I choose to take and the grace I decide to give (or not give) greatly impacts my child.  Not only in their response to me, their respect for me, and their perception of me...but as I read on..it impacts their entire world-view on love as they grow up. 
That's a pretty heavy responsibility...but I am thankful God has blessed me with the opportunity...and isn't He the best example to follow?!  :)